One of the biggest issues I have is dealing with those who dump their problems on me. They forgot about something, or they misplaced an item, or they screwed something up. Suddenly it is my issue and I have to correct it for them. I used to get very frustrated at these events. Suddenly one day it occurred to me. This is the same thing I've done to God. I have screwed things up. Soon it's me crawling back to Him, begging for help out of the situation. So now I understand that I am just as bad as everyone else. The main character Jolus in the book "The Seer of Remmon" had to work through the exact same thing.
I am so thankful that God is not like me. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting to chastise me as soon as I make a mistake. God is not a cosmic bully who loves to pick on puny humans. He is a loving Father who always wants the best for us. We may not even know what is best for us. But He does and He will always do the right thing. It is up to us to trust Him.
Having said that, I come back to reality. The fact is that people will continue to make their problems my and your problem. There are a couple of ways you can deal with this. First, you can get mad and let your blood pressure go up. You can rail against them and talk about them behind their back. You can grumble and complain. But none of this will change their behavior. This is like sticking a fork in your eye and hoping they will scream in pain. It's just not going to happen.
A second thing you could try is to leave your job if that is the problem. Or you might cancel the friendship with that person. You can abandon your church or that club you joined. You can also sell your house and live somewhere else. You might even de-friend them on Facebook or other social sites. You can delete their email and let your calls go to voicemail. But this will only be for a time. It's likely you'll develop another friendship. Then this vicious cycle will commence once more.
Truthfully, the only way to stop this problem is to change your thinking. Begin to realize right now that you really don't have control over other people's behavior. No matter how much you yell and scream and cry they are not going to stop doing what they're doing or being who they are. Certainly a few people might change if it turns out they didn't realize what they were doing. But most won't change. This is a sad but true fact.
Changing your thinking is not very easy. You probably grew up thinking that life should be fair. It turns out that life is immeasurably unfair. People who should get rewarded don't, and those who should not get rewarded do. Chances are that someone who dumped on you probably got rewarded for that behavior. This is why most people won't change.
It will help us to remember our bond with Jesus and why that bond exists. We were oblivious to our own problems. But God was not oblivious. He came to us and turned our sin problems into His problem. We were ignorant of the fact that we were doomed to an eternity in anguish and pain. But He loved us and sent His Son to live as a perfect human and then give His life on the cross as payment for our sins. At this point we can be back in relationship with God if only we will believe.
I am not unselfish enough to die for someone else's dilemma. Only Jesus was that unselfish. He is unique in that He truly did not deserve to be dumped on. But He took it upon Himself voluntarily. While you are working to change your thinking, keep in mind that Jesus is always there and He understands your pain. He will never chastise you for your feelings. He will always understand. And He will help you change your heart.
It's a losing battle to try and change other people. But with the Lord's help you can change yourself. Why battle any more over the frustrating problems you can't change? Release them. Look to the Lord and you'll find that peace that you've been looking for.
I am so thankful that God is not like me. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting to chastise me as soon as I make a mistake. God is not a cosmic bully who loves to pick on puny humans. He is a loving Father who always wants the best for us. We may not even know what is best for us. But He does and He will always do the right thing. It is up to us to trust Him.
Having said that, I come back to reality. The fact is that people will continue to make their problems my and your problem. There are a couple of ways you can deal with this. First, you can get mad and let your blood pressure go up. You can rail against them and talk about them behind their back. You can grumble and complain. But none of this will change their behavior. This is like sticking a fork in your eye and hoping they will scream in pain. It's just not going to happen.
A second thing you could try is to leave your job if that is the problem. Or you might cancel the friendship with that person. You can abandon your church or that club you joined. You can also sell your house and live somewhere else. You might even de-friend them on Facebook or other social sites. You can delete their email and let your calls go to voicemail. But this will only be for a time. It's likely you'll develop another friendship. Then this vicious cycle will commence once more.
Truthfully, the only way to stop this problem is to change your thinking. Begin to realize right now that you really don't have control over other people's behavior. No matter how much you yell and scream and cry they are not going to stop doing what they're doing or being who they are. Certainly a few people might change if it turns out they didn't realize what they were doing. But most won't change. This is a sad but true fact.
Changing your thinking is not very easy. You probably grew up thinking that life should be fair. It turns out that life is immeasurably unfair. People who should get rewarded don't, and those who should not get rewarded do. Chances are that someone who dumped on you probably got rewarded for that behavior. This is why most people won't change.
It will help us to remember our bond with Jesus and why that bond exists. We were oblivious to our own problems. But God was not oblivious. He came to us and turned our sin problems into His problem. We were ignorant of the fact that we were doomed to an eternity in anguish and pain. But He loved us and sent His Son to live as a perfect human and then give His life on the cross as payment for our sins. At this point we can be back in relationship with God if only we will believe.
I am not unselfish enough to die for someone else's dilemma. Only Jesus was that unselfish. He is unique in that He truly did not deserve to be dumped on. But He took it upon Himself voluntarily. While you are working to change your thinking, keep in mind that Jesus is always there and He understands your pain. He will never chastise you for your feelings. He will always understand. And He will help you change your heart.
It's a losing battle to try and change other people. But with the Lord's help you can change yourself. Why battle any more over the frustrating problems you can't change? Release them. Look to the Lord and you'll find that peace that you've been looking for.
About the Author:
Norita Sieffert is a published author and speaker with a Master's Degree in Theology. She views life very practically and seeks real solutions to real problems. She is fully committed to Jesus Christ and shares her faith with others having the same struggles she has. To browse her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore