How Parents Can Encourage Self Reliance In Teenagers

By Maryann Boyle


Teenagers are going to become adults that lead independent lives. Such independence has to be encouraged and learned gradually from childhood onwards, however. It's therefore necessary for parents to cultivate and strengthen self reliance in adolescents. Below are strategies parents might want to consider in this regard.

Becoming self-reliant goes together with developing self-esteem. Make a point, therefore, of praising teenagers for efforts to improve at school, and show genuine appreciation when kids help with household tasks, for example. But do so consistently, and the message the youngster gets is that others can rely on and trust the young person to do what is right.

Learn to strike a balance between being too controlling and being too lenient. This requires consistent self-reflection to get right. It's perhaps best to try and promote a healthy sense of independence in the youngster without being in the way, or prevent being so absent that no guidance is forthcoming.

Learning to make independent decisions also stems from a sense that one is valued and appreciated. This takes away the pressure to try and be perfect in everything, and learning that making mistakes is a normal part of growing up. Children learn though this that parents accept and value the person behind the successes and failures.

The best teachers are adults that model the actions the young ones ought to follow. This requires of grownups to demonstrate consistently independent decision making. It's far more effective than merely talking about the issue.

Another crucial aspect in teaching teens self reliance is to consistently demonstrate the virtues of selfless service to others. Taking the youngsters along when handing out blankets at a homeless shelter, for example, will prevent healthy independence develop into narcissistic arrogance. Put the above suggestions to the test when raising youngsters, and notice the positive impact one can have as a caring adult.




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